It's been a few days days since Father's Day, I know, but I suddenly felt the
urge to write something about my father. And as a comeback to my blog, I
think it's just but right to welcome myself back to blogging by making
him a tribute through this post.
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| Cutie-patootie |
I have blurred memories of my father when I was a baby (because really,
how can a baby remember?), but from the stories I've heard, Papa has
always been the loving and concerned Papa that he still is. At night
until the wee hours of the morning, he was the one who got up to change
my
lampin, or cloth diapers (which means changing almost every hour). I could imagine his fat fingers trying to wrap the
lampin and managing to pin it together in the dark.
I was bottle-fed and I was a fat baby. My baby pictures serve as proof
that I was quite on the big side. When I was already 6 years old, I was
still drinking from the bottle. My Auntie, being the mean and
kontrabida
auntie that she was (I love you, Auntie Ana!), schemed to get all my
bottles and throw them out into our garden where our dogs stayed (and
did their number twos). It must have been hell for me losing all my
bottles. Papa got so angry.
As I got older, I have clearer memories of Papa. I remember one time
when he asked all of us, his children, to go to the bed and lie on our
tummies because we were going to be "disciplined" for something we did
(probably one of those times when my kuya Lem played with the water, or
my kuya Sey initiated a game involving fire). One by one, he hit each
of my sibling's bottoms with his belt, and as it was coming close to my
turn, I suddenly jumped up to him to hug him. Of course, he hugged back
and refused to hit me anymore. I remember my two brothers and sister
giggling when that happened.
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| Old school |
Papa and Mama were both very hardworking. They were office people, with
meetings here and there. It doesn't sound ideal, but I don't remember
complaining how that they're never available, just as a typical child
would if they had parents who were always out of the house because of
work. Maybe because they made sure that on weekends, we would have
bonding time with them. We had outings, trips to the province, ate out,
etc. They pretty much tried to make up for the time they lost with us
during the week.
We were a happy family, and not to mention, we were quite blessed
financially and materially, too. We all studied in exclusive schools,
had at least 2 vehicles, had a family driver, always had our pantries
full, and had the means to buy what we wanted. Papa was a very good
provider, but taught us to remain humble and commit to the church. He
became part of the church clergy and was ordained deacon. Even in his
busy schedules, he strove to attend to his duties as a deacon of the
church. He showed us that without God, everything would be in vain.
And so even in our somehow financially-blessed life, we learned to
acknowledge God as the Source of everything.
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| Classic family pic -- those were the days |
Growing up, I remember admiring Papa for being a loving husband to our
Mama and a sweet father to us. I remember clearly how I prayed and
hoped for a future husband just like Papa. Of course, he isn't
perfect. Storms came and our family experienced a whole bunch of
trials. Many have said that could Papa have made wiser decisions in the
past, we wouldn't have gone through all those. I honestly think that
mistakes could have been avoided, but I couldn't bring myself to point
fingers at Papa. Right from the beginning, he has always wanted the
best for the family.
Because of certain circumstances, we started to struggle financially.
Our pantries were no longer full, eating out became a rare thing, and we
only had 1 vehicle to use, which was even a company car provided for
Papa. There was even a time when we had to commute with Papa--ride the
train and jeepney going home. I don't think I will ever forget the
expression on Papa's face from the time we bought a ticket at the MRT
station to the time when we were walking home after going down the
jeepney. He was smiling the whole time, but I knew that deep inside, he
was so embarrassed that his children, who used to be
hatid-sundo with matching drivers and expensive cars, were now commuting with him.
Still, he continued to strive. He found ways to bring food to our table
and make ends meet. From a recognized owner of a thriving insurance
agency, he became an insurance agent again, starting again almost from
the beginning. Because of his naturally happy and sociable disposition,
he still got in touch with fellow colleagues who helped him get back up
again somehow. I very well knew that he wanted to bring back the life
that we had before. He wanted to be financially secure again. He
wanted to get back on top again. I knew why, and it wasn't for selfish
reasons. He was doing everything for the family. He always talked
about buying a home so that when Mama, Lem, and Sey would come home from
the States, they would have a place to stay. He also always talked
about establishing our own family business so that he could have a
business to pass on to us, his children. It was always about us.
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| One of Papa's sleeping sessions with his grandchild |
Yes, he made mistakes here and there. A lot of them. Over and over
again. But who doesn't make mistakes? Papa went through a lot of bumps
on the road. A lot of them, too. Over and over again. But he just
kept on moving along, trying to make things better for the family, and
always with a smile on his face. Small things that he did for us such
as picking me up from a dinner out with friends (includes having to wait
for us to finish), taking the grandchildren to the park on an early
Saturday morning, putting his grandchildren to sleep, buying us pan de
sal almost everyday -- he did all of these things to show bits and
pieces of his love for us, assuring us that he is and will always be
here for us. They may be small and not so extravagant, but looking back at them now, they were
big on love. Papa did everything for us with so much heart.
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| The father of the bride |
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I could go on and on and on about Papa. I could talk about his
failures, yes, because he does have them, just like everyone else. But I
choose to look beyond them and see how he has lived his life to show
his love for us, his family -- how he has always been there for me, even for my growing family. How he guided me in my
dalaginding days, to walking me down the aisle, to driving me to the hospital when I started to labor, up to putting my first child to sleep (even when he was also sleepy). Ever-patient, reliable in so many ways,
readily makes himself available, that's our Papa. Our loving and
lovable
Papa.
Since he left for the US in November 2011, life has been different. I
miss him everyday. I am looking forward to the time when we can be
together again, along with my children, and continue to realize how
blessed we are to have a Papa Chito in our lives.
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| With Papa Chito on my first birthday |
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| Still Papa's girl on my wedding day |
