A Post-Father's Day Post

It's been a few days days since Father's Day, I know, but I suddenly felt the urge to write something about my father.  And as a comeback to my blog, I think it's just but right to welcome myself back to blogging by making him a tribute through this post.

Cutie-patootie

I have blurred memories of my father when I was a baby (because really, how can a baby remember?), but from the stories I've heard, Papa has always been the loving and concerned Papa that he still is.  At night until the wee hours of the morning, he was the one who got up to change my lampin, or cloth diapers (which means changing almost every hour).  I could imagine his fat fingers trying to wrap the lampin and managing to pin it together in the dark.

I was bottle-fed and I was a fat baby. My baby pictures serve as proof that I was quite on the big side.  When I was already 6 years old, I was still drinking from the bottle.  My Auntie, being the mean and kontrabida auntie that she was (I love you, Auntie Ana!), schemed to get all my bottles and throw them out into our garden where our dogs stayed (and did their number twos).  It must have been hell for me losing all my bottles.  Papa got so angry.

As I got older, I have clearer memories of Papa.  I remember one time when he asked all of us, his children, to go to the bed and lie on our tummies because we were going to be "disciplined" for something we did (probably one of those times when my kuya Lem played with the water, or my kuya Sey initiated a game involving fire).  One by one, he hit each of my sibling's bottoms with his belt, and as it was coming close to my turn, I suddenly jumped up to him to hug him.  Of course, he hugged back and refused to hit me anymore.  I remember my two brothers and sister giggling when that happened.

Old school

Papa and Mama were both very hardworking.  They were office people, with meetings here and there.  It doesn't sound ideal, but I don't remember complaining how that they're never available, just as a typical child would if they had parents who were always out of the house because of work.  Maybe because they made sure that on weekends, we would have bonding time with them.  We had outings, trips to the province, ate out, etc.  They pretty much tried to make up for the time they lost with us during the week.

We were a happy family, and not to mention, we were quite blessed financially and materially, too.  We all studied in exclusive schools, had at least 2 vehicles, had a family driver, always had our pantries full, and had the means to buy what we wanted.  Papa was a very good provider, but taught us to remain humble and commit to the church.  He became part of the church clergy and was ordained deacon.  Even in his busy schedules, he strove to attend to his duties as a deacon of the church.  He showed us that without God, everything would be in vain.  And so even in our somehow financially-blessed life, we learned to acknowledge God as the Source of everything.

Classic family pic -- those were the days

Growing up, I remember admiring Papa for being a loving husband to our Mama and a sweet father to us.  I remember clearly how I prayed and hoped for a future husband just like Papa.  Of course, he isn't perfect.  Storms came and our family experienced a whole bunch of trials.  Many have said that could Papa have made wiser decisions in the past, we wouldn't have gone through all those.  I honestly think that mistakes could have been avoided, but I couldn't bring myself to point fingers at Papa.  Right from the beginning, he has always wanted the best for the family.

Because of certain circumstances, we started to struggle financially.  Our pantries were no longer full, eating out became a rare thing, and we only had 1 vehicle to use, which was even a company car provided for Papa.  There was even a time when we had to commute with Papa--ride the train and jeepney going home.  I don't think I will ever forget the expression on Papa's face from the time we bought a ticket at the MRT station to the time when we were walking home after going down the jeepney.  He was smiling the whole time, but I knew that deep inside, he was so embarrassed that his children, who used to be hatid-sundo with matching drivers and expensive cars, were now commuting with him.

Still, he continued to strive.  He found ways to bring food to our table and make ends meet.  From a recognized owner of a thriving insurance agency, he became an insurance agent again, starting again almost from the beginning.  Because of his naturally happy and sociable disposition, he still got in touch with fellow colleagues who helped him get back up again somehow.  I very well knew that he wanted to bring back the life that we had before.  He wanted to be financially secure again.  He wanted to get back on top again.  I knew why, and it wasn't for selfish reasons.  He was doing everything for the family.  He always talked about buying a home so that when Mama, Lem, and Sey would come home from the States, they would have a place to stay.  He also always talked about establishing our own family business so that he could have a business to pass on to us, his children.  It was always about us.

One of Papa's sleeping sessions with his grandchild

Yes, he made mistakes here and there.  A lot of them.  Over and over again.  But who doesn't make mistakes?  Papa went through a lot of bumps on the road.  A lot of them, too.  Over and over again.  But he just kept on moving along, trying to make things better for the family, and always with a smile on his face.  Small things that he did for us such as picking me up from a dinner out with friends (includes having to wait for us to finish), taking the grandchildren to the park on an early Saturday morning, putting his grandchildren to sleep, buying us pan de sal almost everyday -- he did all of these things to show bits and pieces of his love for us, assuring us that he is and will always be here for us.  They may be small and not so extravagant, but looking back at them now, they were big on love.  Papa did everything for us with so much heart.

The father of the bride

I could go on and on and on about Papa.  I could talk about his failures, yes, because he does have them, just like everyone else.  But I choose to look beyond them and see how he has lived his life to show his love for us, his family -- how he has always been there for me, even for my growing family.  How he guided me in my dalaginding days, to walking me down the aisle, to driving me to the hospital when I started to labor, up to putting my first child to sleep (even when he was also sleepy).  Ever-patient, reliable in so many ways, readily makes himself available, that's our Papa.  Our loving and lovable
Papa.

Since he left for the US in November 2011, life has been different.  I miss him everyday.  I am looking forward to the time when we can be together again, along with my children, and continue to realize how blessed we are to have a Papa Chito in our lives.

With Papa Chito on my first birthday

Still Papa's girl on my wedding day

On Finding My Greatest Treasure

A lawyer at a top law firm.  A writer for a famous publication in New York.  A preschool owner of a school located in a high-end subdivision.—No, I am not talking about myself here; although I somehow wish I were!  These are what many of my friends have become now.  They have achieved so much in their career, that sometimes I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Had I taken a different path years ago, would I be as successful?”

My life

I am a full-time wife to a deacon and a mother to two daughters.  Every day, I deal with preparing coffee for my husband, cleaning up my toddler’s mess, changing my 5 month old’s soiled diapers, and more.  Not very sophisticated, I know, and it could even be sometimes frustrating.  There are moments when I wish I could spend my days meeting clients at Starbucks, spending my salary on those oh-so-lovely 4-inch stilettos, or taking a side trip to Boracay with the barkada, just like what my friends are doing.

But then again, there are more moments when I realize how blessed I am for the life I have now.  Seeing my baby’s toothless ear-to-ear smiles, watching my toddler do things on her own such as putting her dirty clothes in the hamper, and hearing my husband say, “You’re so beautiful!”—all of these are incomparable to anything in this world, not even to a trip to Paris!  Having married a God-fearing husband and being blessed with two beautiful daughters, I realize what I have achieved.  And I can say that I have achieved much.  My family is my greatest treasure.

This ministry of marriage and motherhood is never an easy feat, but it is an anointed calling.  I may not be a big-time business tycoon or a famous celebrity as the world identifies “successful” to be, but I couldn’t thank God enough for transforming me into a wife and a mother who desires nothing but the best for her family.  Still a long way to go, I know, but because God has called me into this ministry, I know that He will provide all the love, faith, and patience I need to be the best wife and mother I can be.

Baby's on the Way!

Had to do a "double-look" to check if I was just seeing double

February 5, 2011. Woke up lazily on a Saturday morning. Husband was not around because of Men's Mass in church. Was thinking of the things to do on that day... eat breakfast, cook lunch, transcribe last Wednesday's homily... and oh yeah, use the pregnancy test I asked Mon to buy the night before.

Around 9am. Was in the bathroom and about to use the PT. The whole time, I was just thinking, "Okay, here we go again..."--thinking that it would be just like the previous times I've tested. So there, I don't think I have to put into detail how I did the PT, but of course, I dropped my urine samples in the space provided. I was too eager that I put in about 6 drops (ideally, it should just be 2-3 drops) that it kind of just filled up the space and it wasn't moving to the test space. I was thinking, "Oh no, what did I do? Did I just waste P120?" (PTs are not cheap) So I had to tilt it to the right for it to come up with results.  At first glance, it was just one line. And I said to myself, "Yeah, just like the old times...", but then when I glanced again, I saw another line fading in.  I literally had to do a "double-look" to check if I was just seeing double.  Well, apparently, I was not.  The PT showed 2 of the most beautiful lines I have ever seen in my life.  I was finally pregnant!!!

I stormed out of the bathroom with tears in my eyes. When I went out, I had to go back in just to check if it's really 2 lines. I still could not believe it. Well, the two lines were definitely staying because God has fulfilled the desire of my heart to have a baby :)

I surprised my husband by wrapping the positive PT in special green paper, with a gold ribbon (leftovers from Christmas). I put a note on it: "For my dear and loving husband MON".  I changed the bedsheets and put the small present on top of 2 pillows, pretty sure that he wouldn't miss it.

When he got home, I just wanted to burst but I didn't want to spoil my surprise.  So he just went on blabbing about stuff in church and other matters, which really didn't register in my head because I was dwelling too much on the surprise.  So finally, he went up to the room to dress up. Yes excited I was. He stormed downstairs but with no reaction.  I'm guessing he missed it.  So I asked him to get something from upstairs that was close to the present. He hurried upstairs and went down bringing it, still with no reaction. So he missed it again. Darn.

I couldn't help it, so I asked him, "Hindi mo ba nakita yung gift ko sayo sa taas?" Then he said, "Ah para sakin ba yun?" HELLO! "Oo kaya! Letter yun eh!" I said that so he wouldn't assume that it was the PT.  So he stormed upstairs and after about 3-4 minutes, he went downstairs with that big smile on his face. He hugged me so tight and we were just there embracing each other, basking in God's faithfulness in our lives. I had tears in my eyes because I was just too happy.

Thank You, Lord. Indeed, God's promises are true. :)